Today working from 8am-6pm cos Im not running any machine. But if Im running a machine will be working form 8am-8pm, like yesterday. Had sorting of parts today basically for 9 hours. During that 9 hours, memories of grandma came to my mind again. I just simply could not believe it how our 3 families could take the pain/sadness.
Today, is her birthday. I long to wish her happy birthday yet I didnt did it when she's here. When she's here, I didnt even bothered to even look at her when she is with us, but I know her presence. Till today, I didnt have a chance to say to her "Ah ma, Happy birthday!" Our family went to pray grandma on Sunday. A little becos Mommy dreamt about Ah ma. Ah ma was telling mommy that she miss eating "Fa Gau & Gua." Mommy went to buy for Ah ma the 2 after we move some of our things to uncle's factory. She walk the entire market to get Ah ma her food. We went to pray, upon seeing ah ma's photo, tears startes to roll in my eyes. In my heart I say "Ah ma we bought u ur food. Enjoy your food. How r u? R u fine? R u enjoying urself? Lastly happy birthday ah ma!" Im really very sad though it has pass 5 months. Its like only yesterday. Everything jus pass so quickly. I hate to stop missing her but I cant. I have yet to dream of Ah ma. Almost everyone had. I know one day will be my turn cos Ah ma will enter everyone's dream slowly.
This coming Sunday, moving of almost everything to uncle's factory. Renovating soon. Found a place to stay. Not convenient. But what can I do. Jus endure for 1.5 months.
You never know how much I love you. You never know how much I miss you. You never know how guilty I am now when I didnt cherish u in the past. You never know how much I wish to dream of u. You never know how much I wish I could turn back the time when u were here, and not fighting our ur beloved rocking chair. You never know how much I wish to see u now. You never know I will never forget you. You never know all this happy memories will stay in my heart.
I love you, Ah ma!!! I love you, Ah ma!!!
Happy Birthday, Ah ma!!! Happy Birthday, Ah ma!!!
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